The how not to get friendzoned is a topic that will probably stretch on until the end of time, maybe under a different name but nevertheless an ongoing thing.
A quick definition of the friendzone for those unaware it’s basically one person wanting to be in a more than friends type of relationship and the other person only seeing this as nothing more than a ‘friend’, a lot of times this is just a nice way of turning someone down that you don’t want to hurt their feelings.
This is not a gender specific thing because girls can friendzone guys and vice versa, however most of the time you see it happen its girls shutting the guys down with the friendzone line. There’s a little more to it than that but for the short & sweet version there you go.
Even though there are numerous reasons on why someone might get friendzoned, the main ones I see relate to in some form or fashion of being the nice guy. So for this article it will mainly revolve around this area.
Let’s get into the heart of this article.
Is Being Too Nice To A Girl That You Like A Bad Thing?
The short answer yes, being too nice to women will make them like you as a person but usually it’s not the type of person that they take home after a date if you understand what I’m saying here.
Being overly nice will put you in this comfort zone with them in which they see you as more of a person who they go shopping and do girly crap with rather than making out with in which the latter is what you’re most likely hoping for.
The phrase “girls like bad boys” works well for understanding this. One of the main things about that is that you don’t see those “bad boys” being overly nice to them.
Sure they may smooth talk them but you don’t see them jumping every time the girl says jump. Women like a challenge and nice guys are anything but that.
The Flip Side Don’t Be A Jerk
When I say don’t be too nice to women I’m meaning don’t let her walk all over you.
It’s no surprise that women like to play games and a major one is testing you in situations to see what all they can get away with.
For example let’s say you’re walking with a girl you’re interested in between classes and she tells you to carry her books for her, not only would telling her no be the appropriate response because she told you to do it but also there isn’t any reason she couldn’t carry her own books.
Here is the same example with a different approach.
Let’s say she is carrying her softball equipment, books and purse. Give the same response as before if she tells you to carry something but if she asks or doesn’t even mention it then this would make sense to have chivalry to help her out.
As you can see there is a pretty fine line between being a doormat and being a jerk.
You have to find that grey area which is easier said than done so it may take a little time to really get this part down to where it’s just natural behavior for you.
Don’t Be The White Knight Coming To Her Rescue
I see this so many times on social media that it just makes me cringe.
You’ve most likely seen a girl post a pic with the caption saying something like “I wish I looked good in this shirt” knowing good and well that she already looks good in it.
This is basically a way to fish for complements and lots of beta males jump at this chance to throw compliments her way hoping to get in it good with her. Just read some of the comments on these pics and some of these girls get 100’s of comments of guys saying the same thing so unless you’re a good looking dude what makes you stand out?
Saying something like “Yea I wish you did to” would have her and her army of beta males quickly calling you a jerk.
A better response would be something along the lines of, “Not bad” or “I liked that purple shirt better on you”
The first response gives of a subtle compliment without over doing it. The second response almost puts off that you agree with her statement but you followed it up with a compliment so you don’t seem like a jerk.
Blowing Up Her Phone
This part is a bit different because let’s say you already have her phone number from a previous thing like maybe you’re friends but you want more, just got her number after meeting her or possibly even being her ex but you want her back.
Don’t be overly quick to answer her texts unless y’all are legit having a back and forth conversation. This is actually a common thing that girls do to guys to make them seem not overly eager which is basically us just doing the same to them.
Basically don’t shoot her more than 1 text before she responds to the first one. Same with calling, after you call the first time she will see it eventually so if she wants to talk to you then she’ll call. Calling again before she calls you back makes you come off as desperate.
Women like a challenge so if they know you’re sitting around waiting for them to get back in touch with you then there isn’t much challenge there but if they haven’t heard from you in a few hours or something then you could be off with possibly another girl for all they know.
Be The Jerk And The Gentleman
The conclusion of this article is basically me repeating what I’ve been saying. Girls don’t want someone that is a complete jerk to them but they also don’t want a doormat as a man that they can walk over anytime they want to.
If you can find a good balance between being a gentleman and a jerk then you’re set. However like I mentioned this isn’t easy to master and most of the time it’s natural for the guys who are good with women.
Overall though making some small changes to not being the nice guy will not only lead you to do better with women but from my personal experience through life as well. I hope this article helped some of you and I’ll most likely be expanding more on some of these topics in other articles in the future.
Image Credits: Oneinchpunch